Crazy
by delminions
Summary: A (nsfw) H2OVanoss superhero AU one-shot inspired by a-kyo-kyo's artwork on tumblr.


_So upon tumblr user iwishihadabettername 's suggestion, I took inspiration from tumblr user a-kyo-kyo's post from her nsfw blog here (I'm not sure if I should tag her r18 blog or her regular blog, and if I should do that for some reason I can't tag her r18 blog). I played around with the idea, and I thought of making it a little bit of a (nsfw) superhero AU oneshot._

* * *

The clown ran, and he ran and hard and as fast as he could. He felt perspiration begin to gather on his forehead and on his nose, and he felt as the once-dry face paint on his face began to become moist once more. Yet, in all the panic and all the excitement, he couldn't help but laugh out loud, an uncontrolled, almost insane cackle emerging from his lips like his own little personal song, his own little call of freedom as he ran. It was as though he was mocking the world for not being able to keep up with him.

He turned into an alleyway, his feet beginning to slow into a steady, calm walk. Instinctively, he checked once more behind him, making sure that nobody followed and that nobody had miraculously kept up with him. Pleased that he was once again triumphant, he turned back into the alleyway, ready to curl up into an unseen ball and take a short rest whilst the alert in the city died down. Then, he could leave, victorious once more, his bag full of what was needed to make his wallets and his bank a little fuller and him a little richer.

"You know, you're fast, but you're more obvious than the whole sky added together." A voice called out from above.

Instantly, the clown's head snapped up towards its source. A handsome, dark-haired young man sat on the edge of the building, his red and white jacket glowing like a siren in the light that blared from the lamp behind him. _He's going to give me away!_

"Who are you?!" The clown growled out, his voice echoing and rebounding off the walls that surrounded him. "And what the fuck do you want?"

"Just a bird. Or two. Maybe three. And you know what they say about birds." The man replied, smirking. "You didn't think they'd let you do what you did without installing a new security system, would they?"

"Oh." The clown simply said, swallowing the rest of his words as he realized what it all meant. _That's why nobody seemed to even want to chase me down properly_.

"So now he realizes," the man commented, his smirk growing larger. "I watched you run, and I followed. I waited for you to let your guard down so I can deal with you. And you did exactly what I wanted you to. Tsk. Let's get this started, shall we?"

With amazing agility, the man launched himself off the edge of the building, his form soaring gracefully in the air. The swiftness of the movement sent his hair swishing and swooping in different directions, accentuating his sharp, handsome features and highlighting the playfulness that he carried about on his face. In the moment, the clown felt his heart skip slightly, and he chided himself quietly – _He's here to hunt you down, you idiot, stop thinking about how hot he is…!_

With a heavy thud, the man landed before him, and gracefully took a moment to adjust his clothes and his hair. Once he was satisfied with his appearance, he took a confident step towards the clown, the smirk on his face wide and playful.

"Now, where do we start? Should I make you talk, or should I just take you to the police straight away now that I've caught you?"

"You can't catch me if I run," The clown bit back hotly. "Even if I don't run, you can't take me on in a fight all by yourself."

"I know that. I saw. I've watched you ever since they approached me to help them hunt you down. You fight like a madman. You run like a pro. You laugh like a cute motherfucker. It's why - I've learnt after watching you so much - they asked me to do this. Because I'm equipped to take you on."

The clown raised an eyebrow, incredulous, trying to ignore the compliment that was offhandedly served to him and that had made his heart flutter. Even as he opened his mouth, his voice was shaky, unwittingly pouring out his truest feelings as it overflowed and spilled. "Really? Try me."

The man simply stood smiling in front of him, and for a moment, the clown thought nothing had happened. It was only when two hands set themselves on his shoulders that he froze in fear - he was outnumbered, possibly two or three to one.

Even then, however, he kept a brave face. "So you brought backup. That's fine. I can handle five people at once. I beat the shit out of an entire security team. Plus I still can outrun you."

The man before him simply smiled, as his voice sounded from behind the clown now –

"You can run like a little bitch, but you can't hide. Not from me. And you're strong, but stronger than me…? I don't think so. Not after I'm done with you."

A sharp gasp emerged from the clown's lips as he drew away, turning around as quickly as he could. The two men that stood before him now were the very same as the man that now stood behind him, probably smirking wider than ever. _Triplets? Or is this some magic trick_?

The men drew closer, all three closing in on him, coming so close that he could see each and every little detail on their faces. They were the very same man, repeated thrice.

"Stay away from me," he growled, trying his hardest to sound threatening. "I don't know what this is, but stay the fuck away from me."

The three pairs of arms grabbed at him from his left, front and back all at once. One of the men spoke, his voice soft as silk against his ear.

"On the contrary, it's the last thing I want to do. It's not every day I see a cute, sexy little clown wandering into my trap like a lost little bird. I'd like to fool around a little bit before we get serious. Don't you want to?"

The clown drew a shaky breath as the man directly in front of him gently tilted his chin upwards with long, smooth fingers. Slowly, he began to close the gap slightly between them both, only to still in his tracks, his eyes flickering between thirst and desire and uncertainty and fear all at the same time. It was a look that the clown instantly understood – it was hesitation in its purest form. The man desired him, and his body was traitorously desiring the man as well. Softly, slowly, he let his instincts and his guard down, and impulsively closed the gap between them, his eyes fluttering shut as he felt their lips meet.

The man – or rather, one of the three of the same man – was warm. His lips were slick and wet and his mouth was hot. As the clown took his mouth, their tongues were almost instantly engaged in a rhythmic dance together, a little celebration of pleasure that sent little shockwaves of joy rolling through their bodies. The clown felt as the muscles in his abdomen began to tighten into a taut knot – he was getting excited from just the mildest stimulation to his system, and his body was beginning to wake up.

Mid-kiss, he felt a pair of hands wrap around his waist from behind, gently pulling his favorite blue jacket away from his body, whilst another pair of hands wandered about his body, pulling his top up from his stomach and pinning it to his chest with a forearm, whilst the hand left to cup his chin gently. The other hand in the pair trailed downwards from his back to the cusp of his ass and gently squeezed, causing the clown to shiver slightly in delight. The pair of hands wrapping around from behind him now curiously traced down his front, fingertips brushing across his abdomen and to the zipper of his pants. With a few quick movements, the clown swore the tightness in his pants was loosened.

"Mm… I feel the same way about you, too…" The voice behind him whispered, as the clown felt a squeeze around his now stiff member, prompting him to moan softly into the man's mouth. With another squeeze, this time around the most sensitive portion of his manhood, the clown drew his head back, pulling away from the kiss and leaving a trial of thick clear fluids between their lips as he threw his head back in an uncontrolled moan.

"You're a little bitch," the man before him teased, his lips stained slightly with the red face paint that had smeared and transferred from the clown's own lips.

"Ohh… yes!" The clown groaned out as the hand around his member tightened in another pleasurable squeeze. "I think… I am…!"

He was steadily beginning to lose control. His face was red hot, as if it were on fire, and his insides were going wild at each new sensation. His heart was thrumming rapidly like drumbeats for their little dance in the dark, and worst of all, his loins and his ass ached for the man. He wanted to be taken, and he wanted the man – of all people – to do it to him.

"What do you want…?" The man's voice resounded softly about, heated and needy. The hand on his ass squeezed gently as if to indicated that it was what he wanted, that it was his to take. "I want you, baby. I want to take your perfect little ass while I suck your cock and make you cum until you're dry. Do you want that…? Would you like that, my sexy little one…?"

The hands around his hardness tightened and began to pump pleasurably, causing the clown to arch his back and thrust his ass further back into the man's crotch. He felt a responding stiffness in the man's pants as the man ground into him, silently voicing his desire to take him right there and then. With fumbling fingers, the clown reached behind to the man's crotch, attempting shakily to undo the man's pants and release the large tool that would send him straight into paradise, only to realize that his fingers were shaking far too much from the excitement to properly do the job.

"Easy now, easy…" The man gently coaxed, and a hand gently eased his fingers away from the man. He heard a few soft, clicks of buttons and a zipper unzipping, and soon he felt a firm heat rubbing at the crack of his ass, hesitating slightly as it ground into him with a barely controlled desire.

"What are you waiting for?" The clown almost whimpered, his pucker twitching in anticipation. "Take me, bird man, and make me see stars…"

"Not yet, babe. I need to get you suited up and ready. I don't want you to cry out in pain. I just want to hear you cry out because you love it, because you like the feeling of me fucking your brains out."

A few slick fingers traced his entrance fervently, almost erratically, before slipping into the clown's insides, pushing inwards into the clown. The ever-familiar stretching feeling was there once again as his hole stretched to accommodate the man's long wet fingers that were wetting his insides and his hungry hole, preparing him for the main event. The way his fingers worked in his insides made the world seem a little fuzzier to the clown, as his vision blurred slightly from the hiking levels of heat that he was reaching. He felt as the man's fingers pushed in deep, rubbing around in his little hole and teasing closer and closer to the little spot that made him twitch and weave and moan out loud every single time it was massaged.

"Please… give it to me now…" The clown barely managed, his mouth forming the sentence with utmost effort. "I'll suck your dick…" He begged, his words and his thoughts growing increasingly incoherent.

With a smile, the man before him undid his jeans just as the fingers in his nether regions withdrew themselves. The man at his side knelt down, pulling his pants further down and exposing his skin to the cool air of the dark alleyway in the night. The man spoke once more.

"You're so naughty, you're such a little bitch," he teased. "You like that?"

All the clown could do was to whimper in need as he pushed his ass out, offering it to the incredibly sexy man that was about to take him. He bent over, holding the waist of the man in front of him as he slowly took the thick member into his mouth, feeling every inch of the man's skin and rubbing his tongue down the little vein that ran from the tip to the base of his shaft. The taste of the man was glorious and sweet, and he was happier than ever when his efforts were followed up with an appreciative groan of sheer pleasure.

In return, the clown felt something large and thick ease its way into his body, filling every bit of his insides and making his body before seem so incredibly empty. His body shook with the immense joy that the man was providing, and his ass began to twitch happily in acceptance of the man's tool. At the same time, he felt a wet hot mouth envelope his erection, teasing away at the tip of his member and slurping up each little bit of thick pre-ejaculate that was bubbling to the tip of his manhood. In that one instance, through the haze and the fog and the smoke in his head, he felt his willpower weaken, and he knew wasn't going to last very long at all.

"Fuck…" The man's voice sounded, strained with effort. "You're so… fucking… tight..."

His voice descended into a hoarse whisper. "I… oh god… I can't…"

The man behind him lowered his body onto his, firm and hard, panting roughly over the clown's exposed skin. He felt the hot, sweet breath of the man and knew in that instant that they were both losing control, going insane and delirious over each other. In the instant that that occurred to him, the change in position took effect, sending the man's hard member charging straight over the clown's sweet spot, eliciting a loud, muffled moan entirely out of his volition from the clown. His vision was fading and giving way to bright lights and stars, and he felt his muscles slacken as his body was sent further and further into heaven, burning up in a blaze of pleasure.

His ass began to twitch spasmodically as he neared his peak even faster than he would have imagined and even faster than he had ever done before. Where the man had last breathed heavily on the back of his neck, it was now replaced with hot, eager kisses that burned itself into his skin. The kneeling man was sucking him off even harder and faster than ever, and his member twitched readily and pleasurably. He was coming insanely close, so close, and he needed a release incredibly badly.

"Come… Come for me… baby…" The man grunted out as his thrusts became faster and much more vigorous than before. His length seemed to thicken and harden and become even larger inside of the clown, prompting the clown to reply with soft little yelps of joy as he struggled to realize through his sexual haze that the man was just about as close as he was. "Please… babe… I'm about to… please come for me… Come for me, Jonathan…!"

In that instant, the clown thought he had lost his mind. His real name being called out by a perfect man, the very same man that was taking him. The little act pushed him past his own barrier and his own hesitations and with a final thrust, the clown felt his body – full and pent-up – release itself. His own member swelled and began to spill, spurting strings of hot, thick white silk. In the same instant, his ass began to spasm, pulsing hard and pushing against the man's thick rod, and with a loud, almost feral groan, he felt the man release into him, filling him to the brim with the man's sizzling hot essence. Eyes upturned, the clown saw darkness and the stars, and he went blind from the intensity of the orgasm.

* * *

"Are you okay…?" He heard the man's voice call out, reaching out to him in his dark, yet private paradise. "Jonathan…?"

"Jonathan…?" The man called out again, a tone of panic coloring his voice. The clown smiled weakly to himself, and willed his heavy eyelids open.

"You fucked my brains out," he whispered, wetting his dry lips slightly.

"Thank god," the man sighed, relief washing over his pretty features. "I thought I'd lost you forever. Maybe I shouldn't have started with that."

The clown blinked stupidly for a second, and then frowned. "How did you know my real name?"

A slight pink gathered on the man's cheeks. "I told you, I followed you and watched you."

"Since when?"

"Since… since your last solo heist months ago. They hired me to watch you and learn how you work, and then when you'd strike again… I'm to hunt you down." He bit his lip as a guilty look flickered in his dark brown eyes. "When I first saw you… I was curious. You're so pretty. So cute. So… so crazy, _my_ crazy. I loved hearing you laugh."

"What's stopping you from bringing me to them now?"

The man shook his head. "I can't. I had to test myself a little tonight, see how much I'll regret it if I did. Right now, I think I'll hate myself if I sold you out to them. After all those months of watching you…"

A small silence fell upon them, and the clown became intensely aware that the other two of the same man had vanished. The man was alone with him, their bodies bare in his secret cubbyhole in the alleyway, with his body warmed solely by the man's muscular frame. Heat began to flood into his cheeks.

"Where are the… other two of you…?

"What are you talking about? They're all me. I did all that." The blush on the man's face became much more intense, and he sped through the next sentence in a single breath - "I sucked you off and I had a taste of your perfect ass. And you sucked me off all at the same time."

The clown turned to stare at the man directly in the eye. He had heard of a man who could do such a thing – 'clone' himself temporarily, yet still be a singular being. The man had been in the news countless times, and the clown had glued his eyes to the television whenever reports surfaced of the man with the extraordinary powers in an owl mask. He found himself obsessed with the man, practically in love with the man as he filled his life with the incredible owl's image.

"Vanoss." He gasped softly, eyes widening. "Evan. Your real name is Evan. You're the owl guy from the news, the guy that goes under the name Vanoss."

The man chewed on his lower lip. "I was hoping you didn't realize. I'm sorry… I didn't want to scare you. It'd be really obvious if I had the mask on. I was hoping I'd approach you as a random mercenary –"

"You're a god damned hero!" The owl nearly yelled. "You're the reason behind almost all of the big arrests! And –"

He gulped, knowing that he was about to reveal something incredibly silly.

"And…?" The man asked.

"And…" The clown softly sighed. "This entire get-up… this life of crime… Is it crazy to say that... I was so in love with you I got crazy enough to do all this to get you to notice me?"

Another silence washed over the two of them. It was Evan that broke the silence after a long while, this time with a note of uncertainty in his voice.

"I think… I was also crazy, too. The more I watched you… the more I liked you." He grew a little more confident as he straightened up. "Did you know that I barely meant it when I said I'd take you to the police? I wasn't even thinking anymore. I just wanted you to know how I felt about you. And then one thing led to another and I couldn't… I'm sorry."

"Evan…?" Jonathan called out softly. "I'm… I'm happy. No, I'm crazy, I'm crazy happy you did what you did today. We were both crazy."

"So crazy." Evan agreed. "But now that you've got my attention… would you still be doing what you do…?"

Jonathan leaned back, lazily wiping away whatever remained of his clown makeup with a cloth that he had stashed in his secret place in the alleyway. "I don't know. I don't care where I go or what I do. All I want to do right now is to be crazy with you."


End file.
